Lack of trust

Last night B rang, he had read this blog of mine and sounded a bit disappointed. One of my biggest problems is that I am too much concerned about hiding my feelings, whatever they are. There is a sort of switch in my mind: if something is real, if something disturbs me, I’d rather keep it as far from people as possible. Even if it’s something nice. Why? Because sincerity makes me vulnerable. Why does it make me vulnerable? What am I afraid of?

My ability to hide feelings is perfect. You never know if I’m upset by something or my stomach hurts (unless I want you to know) - I always behave myself. Still, people find me interesting and funny. It means, that somehow my true ego manages to come out??

What if I hadn’t been hiding the feelings???